Formation of a Queen
by shl
Summary: This is set in season 4 and from Tara's point of view. Im not sure if it will be thru the whole season or just select episodes. It starts with episode 1. Please Read and Review


Disclosure- I own nothing, Kurt Sutter owns everything.

I sat in my office, looking at Maureen's letters and watching Abel play at his table, in my office. I knew I had to tell Jax about these once he got home but I was really scared about what it would mean to my family. Luckily I was spared anymore time to think, when Dr. Jameson came to get my signature on our joint case. When I looked at the clock I smiled, Jax should be out of Stockton by now and on his way home. I looked at Abel,

"Let's go buddy, we have to go meet Daddy." I was rewarded with a smile.

I scooped up all of Abel's papers and put them in his bag and we headed for the car. It was amazing how much had changed since the last time Jax was here, hell I didn't even drive the same car anymore. We had a lot to get used to but I don't care, as long as I have Jax at my side I could do anything. I pulled into the lot and saw Phil coming over.

"Do you need any help, Tara?"

"Yeah, could you get the stroller out for me?"

"Sure thing."

While Phil wrestled the stroller out, I unstrapped Abel and got his bag of toys and coloring stuff. We walked over to the picnic tables where Lexa was sitting. She was an old lady who had watched Abel a lot around the clubhouse.

"Hey Lex, Gemma been here yet?"

"Hi Tara, No Gemma yet, she called said she was running behind, grabbing a few things for tonight."

"Oh, ok, thanks. " I turned to Abel "Hey baby, you want to play on the playground until your grandma and Thomas get here?"

We had been playing for about a half hour when Gemma pulled in. I took Abel's hand and went to get Thomas. He was asleep so I was able to take the car seat and put it in the stroller.

"Thanks, Gemma."

"No problem, baby."

I took the boys back to the picnic table. Abel was coloring with Lexa so I walked over tocheck on Thomas who was awake and starting to whine. I was comforting him when Piney walked up to me.

"History's dead sweetheart, it's got to stay that way."

I knew Piney's opinion was to not mention anything to Jax, but he didn't know what those letters said. I was thinking about all this and missed Gemma walking up to me.

"You ok?"

"Yeah….Anxious."

"I'm proud of you. It ain't easy making it work with them inside. You've done great!"

"I couldn't have done it without your help."

"Wasn't just me, It was the whole club."

I had to laugh, she was right. Everyone had chipped in. From the guys helping me paint and get Thomas's nursery done and moving stuff between the houses's. Everyone had helped in some way, while Jax was away. It was that second that we heard the bikes.

"Daddy's home."

I had the biggest smile on my face as I turned to the entrance and waiting for my first glimpse of Jax on his bike. The instant the first bike was seen a cheer went up around the parking lot. I locked eyes with Jax and waited for him to park.

He strode over to me and grabbed the back of my head and gave me a kiss that spread warmth through the rest of my body. Jax was home with me and our boys and nothing else existed in this moment. He pulled back reluctantly and gave Thomas a kiss on the head and I handed him to Jax who hugged him and just breathed him in. I went to Abel and turned him around and pointed out Jax. Jax had just enough time to hand Thomas over to Lyla, who had come over to say Hi, before Abel barreled into Jax. I took Thomas back and got Abel to the table while Jax greeted his mom. Thomas was getting tired again so I put him back into the stroller and rolled it over to a picnic table. Jax put Abel on his lap and looked at me, smiling. Lord, it's no wonder there were a million broken hearts left behind Jax, that smile was dangerous. He leaned over and gave me another kiss before turning his attention back to Abel. About 5 minutes later, Jax was helping me load both boys in the car.

"I'm sorry this was a short visit but we got to get up to speed on everything." Jax explained as he shut the door. I already had Thomas strapped in but Jax had found Abel's toddler seat a little tricky so I was putting the stroller in the back of the jeep by the time he got around to the back.

"I know that, baby. I need to get the boys home anyway, besides I have to get stuff ready for tonight anyway." Jax wrapped me in another hug.

"I missed you so much."

I rested my head on his chest. "I missed you too."

"Well, I better get in there; I will meet you at the house as soon as I can get away."

"Ok, well both boys take a nap in the afternoon so…" I trailed off letting those words sink in before giving him a kiss and climbing into the Jeep.

"I will be there soon, babe. I love you."

"Love you too." With that, I headed home.

I was amazed at home, how much better I felt, to know Jax was only a phone call away again. No more having to write letter after letter or wait for visiting day to come. No more keeping my phone in my pocket or with a nurse so I wouldn't miss a chance to hear his voice. I pulled in the drive with a big smile on my face. I took the boys inside and fed them. We went about our day like it was any other but I always had an ear listening for the Harley to pull in. I finally got Thomas down and then took Abel to his room to get him ready for his nap. I read him his favorite story and was just putting it away when I heard the bike. I started out of the room and I heard the front door close at the same time. I was so nervous, it had been 14 months and I felt like it was our first time all over again. I looked and saw his signature smirk.

"The boys are napping."

And I began walking towards him; he wasn't moving and I was really getting anxious now, but just as I was really starting to panic, he got a huge smile and reached down and scooped me up over his shoulder and I started laughing. We got in the bedroom and we couldn't get to each other's clothes fast enough, so we just began removing our own as quick as we could. I know we whispered things but I honestly can't remember what. I was so focused on his hands wandering all over my body. I hadn't even realized how much I had missed and needed his touch. I was on fire and couldn't get enough of his touch. The moment our bodies joined I couldn't hold back anymore. It only lasted minutes but it left me were lying together and I knew this would be the best time to talk to him.

"I think we should talk about some things, Jax."

"Yeah, we should talk about all the chick shit you decked out my house in."

"I'm sorry, Maxim posters and Harley mirrors aren't really my style." I was relieved he was smiling about the changes and I even got a kiss.

"I want to talk about the boys, Jax. About what we are going to do." Just then Thomas woke up crying.

"Sounds like someone else wants a shot at those puppies." Jax said laughingly.

That little brat, I thought it was a little funny but still…I swung at Jax hitting him exactly where I met his thigh. I hadn't done that since high school when he would tease me and it felt good to be back to having fun.

I got up and put on my robe and waited for Jax to bring Thomas to me. I was adjusting him in my lap and I notice a sparkle in Thomas's hand. Oh my gosh, It was a ring.

I looked at Jax."Are you?"

"Yea, we should get married."

"Really? I mean, you want that?"

"I love you, Tara. I've loved you since I was 16. You stayed when anyone else would have bailed. You've given me a beautiful son, taken Abel on as your own." I watched as he slid the ring onto my finger with his trademark Teller smile.

I almost scream yes at him right then. It was perfect, the ring was beautiful and felt right on my hand but I learned too much over the past couple years to take the blind leap.

"I love you too, so much. And I want all those things."

"But?" I hated seeing the look of fear and doubt cross his face but I had to continue.

"Just…I know this is who you are Jax and I wouldn't try to change that; the club, Charming…" I let out a sigh and tried to fight the tears. "I learned so many things while you were away."

"So did I."

"And I look at Thomas and Abel and I think how does this work, how do they…"

"How do they grow up in this?" When I looked at Jax, I could see how he had already thought about all this. So I listened as he described his plans to take our family and leave SAMCRO behind. I had a hard time believing he could leave but the more he talked, the more I realized he was serious. He had even realized Gemma would be a problem and even convinced me we could do this.

I was worried about the risk but knew that Jax was smart and I had to trust that he would stick to his plans and be ready to leap when he said it was time.

Abel woke up shortly after that and we all went to the living room. About a half hour later, I went to shower and get ready for the wedding. I had blow dried my hair and could hear all my boys laughing so I snuck out with a camera and snapped a few pictures before Jax knew what I was doing. I went back to the bathroom and had just finished my hair and the doorbell rang.

"I got it." I called to Jax as I walked towards the door.

"Hi Elyda. I appreciate this."

"No problem."

"Hey Jax, this is the sitter, Elyda. Elyda, this is Jax." After a small greeting, I turned to Jax "I wasn't sure when you had to leave but I need to head over and pick up Lyla and help her get ready and I'm behind so I have to get back to getting ready."

I was ready, all but my dress, a half hour later and I turned around and saw Jax staring at me.

"What?"

"You look amazing."

"Thank you baby. You look pretty good yourself. I forgot how well you clean up." I gave him a kiss and I ended up pushed against the bathroom wall. "Jax, we can't, I have to go."

"Alright, but you owe me tonight." He smiled and backed away from me "Hey where's your ring?"

"In the jewelry box. Jax, its Opie and Lyla's day, if I show up with a ring, it won't be their special day. They waited on you to be out; the least we can do is wait to announce our engagement."

"You amaze me. You are right but most women wouldn't think of things like that. You are a wonderful person. I love you."

Another 10mintues later I had pulled into Opie and Lylas place to get her. She was sitting on the bed and definitely wasn't ready to get married.

"Lyla, what is the matter?"

"Tara, all Opie keeps talking about is having a baby but, we still aren't ready and I had that abortion not long ago and…"

I went to her as she began to cry, and wrapped her in a hug."Lyla, this is something you have to talk to Opie about." I pulled back "Do you want to marry Opie today?"

"Yes, more than anything."

"Ok, then let's get you ready. I may not agree with you not having this talk before now but, it's too late and we need to get you ready for the wedding."

We laughed and chatted all the while, doing her hair and makeup. Once that was done, we took her dress and mine, and headed for the reservation. We pulled up and saw the sheriffs sitting outside the gates and I realized just how tough this was going to be on the guys with this new sheriff around. We went to a tent set up for us and put Lyla in her dress and veil and then I got ready. We were sitting there waiting when Piney came in.

"It's time girls, Tara you can go on up now."

I gave Lyla a hug and went up towards where the ceremony would be. I got stopped a few times by some of the guys and I was finally back on my way when I spotted Jax. We smiled but then Lyla's music started and we had to take our spots. I never realized just how much more a wedding means when you are engaged. Jax and I shared a lot of looks with each other throughout the ceremony. Once it was over, we all posed for a few pictures, then went to the reception. I was dancing with Gemma, Wade and Lyla having a good time when I saw Jax wink at me and walk away with Chibbs. When a slow song came on, I went to step off the dance floor but Piney approached me.

"Can I have a dance, Sweetheart?"

"Of course, Piney."

We were dancing when I saw Jax return and go sit with Opie. He found me and smiled and half laughed; he had sent Piney over, anything to avoid dancing - the jerk. That's when I knew I was going to have a full dance card for awhile. Sure enough, I kept getting asked to dance by different members of the Sons. Then a surprise came in, Alvarez.

We danced in silence for awhile then he broke the silence.

"I am glad you made it thru your hostage situation. I never realized he was crazy enough to do something like that, I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, but thank you."

"Well, I think I have taken enough of your dance time. Jax is a very lucky man."

"Thank you."

I looked out but didn't see Jax. I went to the bar and got a Coke and sat down and checked with Gemma. Once I was sure the boys were o k, I really wondered where Jax was but of course that didn't last long cause a another Mexican guy in a cut came over to me. It was obvious he was drunk but that wasn't going to help him if he got much closer.

"Can I get a dance?"

"Um, n o sorry I'm taking a break and I doubt my old man would like that, either."

"I haven't seen you with the same guy twice this whole night, now be a good girl and come dance or if you want to skip dancing, I'm ok with that too."

Before I could reply, the guy was jerked back and tossed to the ground and I saw Jax looking very angry, standing over him. I didn't want any trouble at Opie and Lyla's wedding so I stood up and went to Jax.

"About time baby, I think you owe me a dance." I took his hand and pulled him up onto the dance floor and I let him wrap his arms wrap around me. Before long his body relaxed and I felt his hands stroking my back. I loved just being in his arms and when the song ended neither of us made a move to end the closeness. We hadn't been speaking but I broke the silence.

"This is nice."

"Yeah, it's good to be home."

"It's great to have you home. You know Alvarez told me you are a lucky man earlier."

"Well, can't say he's wrong about that one."

We went back to the silence between us and continued dancing. When that song ended, I was very relaxed and also very tired.

"Jax, I want to go home. It's been a long day."

"Yeah, I agree. Let's go."

We walked through the door and saw Gemma sitting on the couch watching T.V.

"Hey Ma, thanks for watching the boys."

"No problem, baby. Good night."

I looked at Jax and smiled. "Well that was a quick goodbye." Well let's see how much better we can do tonight. "So Jax, the boys are asleep and we are alone; what should we do now?"

He got his trademark smile out.

"Well Darlin, I think it's time I show you just how much I missed you." And before I knew what he was doing he scooped me up and carried me, bridal style, to our bedroom and this time we went slow and savored each other's bodies and the feel of being connected again.


End file.
